I first read The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, while I was backpacking in South America in 2013. (I Four Agreements coveractually listened to the audio book on the long bus ride from Cuzco to Arequipa).

It was one of those books I had heard about several times, and finally got around to checking it out. (The fact that it was one of the books on my new boyfriend’s bedside table provided some additional motivation, I’ll be honest.)

I absolutely think this little book is the key to better relationships, better health, more peace, freedom, and happiness. I am not religious or an overly spiritual person, but I’m definitely interested in expanding my spiritual awareness, so this book has become sort of a ‘code’ for how I live my life.

My friend Dave thought the Four Agreements were so important he had them tattooed on his arm.IMG_4884

What are the Four Agreements?

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word

Basically: have integrity. Do what you say you will do, as it relates to others and to yourself. Don’t speak negatively about others or yourself.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Get this: It’s not about you! It’s never about you! Other people’s actions have nothing to do with you. They live in their own reality and their words and actions are not related to you. When you let go of worrying what other people think about you, you feel a sense of peacefulness.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

How many situations are made worse by assumptions on your part? Communicate clearly with others to avoid confusion, disappointment, and sadness. It takes some courage, but the rewards are great when you ask questions and express what you really want.

4. Always Do Your Best

Let go of the need for perfection and realize that doing your best in any moment is good enough. Some days your best will be better than other days. Know that you are in a constant state of growth and improvement and be kind to yourself.

What I’ve noticed since becoming aware of these four agreements is that I am more conscious of what I say and how I show up in my life. I think number 3 is the most challenging for me. It’s very easy to make assumptions, about everything! Any situation where I feel upset, worried or unhappy can usually be traced back to me breaking one of the four agreements. Luckily, I’ve gotten pretty good at living in a way where I rarely experience those feelings! Seriously, go share this book with the important people in your life and watch your relationships improve.

Experiencing more freedom, well-being, and happiness is what be:free is all about, and we love finding and sharing resources to help people do just that.

Your turn:

What do you think? Have you read the Four Agreements? Have you made a conscious effort to implement them in your life? What have you noticed?